This won't be a dramatic post I can assure you...

First off, thanks to those of you who left those encouraging comments on my last post. It really makes me feel a whole lot better, and reminds me that there are people out there who care about me. So again, thanks so much. I love you guys! :)

So anywho, I figure I should give you all an update on my dreary little life. The last two months have been nothing too exciting, I mean I should say the only event that has stood out to me this summer is the fact that I'm fifteen now, and that just is making me freak out, because next year I'm going to be sixteen, and the year after that seventeen, and then eighteen, and UOTHRDGJNFIRYIETJHGFBLNM,O0EOP[TRDG!?!?!? Sorry I was just having a bit of spasm there, lol. The fact that I'm growing up scares me, but it shouldn't scare me. I mean it isn't like I don't have a plan, I do have a plan. After graduating high school a couple of years from now, I'm going to go to community college and study drama/theater, and maybe a bit of creative writing on the side. And then I'll probably study the same when I'm in real college, and, get this, I already know what college I'm going to. That beats my older sis, she's graduating high school next year and she is still juggling between two schools.

Oh yeah! I did get a new expansion pack for my Sims 3 game for my birthday!!! It was just the one I requested, Generations! It's kind of a family-oriented expansion pack, adding stuff like a daycare profession, teaching the teens how to drive, afterschool activities, wedding arches, proms, graduations, etc etc etc. So yes, I have been having a lot of fun with it! But there is the fact that I have A WHOLE BUNCH of custom content in my game and so therefore it takes A LONG TIME to LOAD!!?!?! And I'm not a patient girl, rofl, but you know what I mean.

On the subject of movies I've been seen recently...hmm...I have seen quite a few, let me tell you that. Let's see....uhhh...wow. I can't really name any at the moment, but when it comes to movie trailers, I can name some of those that I've watched, specifically ones for movies that I am super pumped for! For starters:

FREAKIN THOR 2! I mean I'm not as much as the Thor fan as my little sis is, but still, this looks pretty awesome! I'm just kind of going along for the ride...because well I guess you can say I kind of have a mini crush on Loki, and I might also like the actor who plays him Tom Hiddleston, who plays him. What can I say, he's handsome and a really good actor.  Sometimes I have this thing where I like the character, or I just like the actor, or sometimes I like both of them put together. And that's it with this case. 

I've seen the first movie and read the first book of The Hunger Games franchise, so I'm making a vow to myself to read Catching Fire before I see the movie.

I admit, I'm probably most excited for this movie to come out. I absolutely enjoyed the first Hobbit movie, so I can barely contain my excitement. Oh! And I guess my little sis will be thrilled to see Legolas in this one. I know some people are getting a little mad at the director for throwing in a female elf who wasn't even in the book, but you know what...I don't care. We need more tough females in literature.

There are some other trailers I've seen but I figure I can post them another time.

As on the subject of tv shows, I'm just waiting for some of them to come back. Most of my favorite shows(e.g. Doctor Who, Once Upon a Time, Psych), are on break at the moment. And most of the finales have ended on cliffhangers, and you can just imagine that this girl ain't happy. I'm furious at the way the previous season of Grimm ended, I just...wow, I can't believe it. I would have just shot that creepy dude straight out instead of just chasing after him and ending up captured. Seriously. I'm interested to see what they do in the next season. 

So has anyone seen the little bitty teaser trailer for Once Upon a Time? Did you happen to notice a familiar redheaded mermaid in it? Yes! I'm excited to see Ariel in the next season, and secretly hoping they'll be able to fit a Rapunzel story in there somewhere.

AND ON THE SUBJECT OF DOCTOR WHO. I FINALLY KNOW THE 12TH DOCTOR IS. Seriously, I was getting really nervous and freaking out while watching that announcement on BBC. Now while I'm willing to give Peter Capaldi a chance as 12, I don't know if my younger sis is. She's probably kind of partial to young cute guys, and I can't blame her, but seriously. It's better that they have an older actor fill in the role of the Doctor for a little bit.

To end this post off, I just want to say I feel horrible for not being on lately, and I'm paying for it, seeing as I have A LOT of posts to catch up on.

~the Authoress

The post of things I need to say

I can't believe summer is almost over, and I've barely done anything, let alone attending a 4-H thing. I'm just not very happy right now. Misfortune seems to lurk in every corner for me. I wasn't able to go camp, or on vacation, and money problems just keep getting worse in my family. And money problems aren't anything new, believe me. We were okay for a couple of years, but then it started going downhill again.

Sometimes...sometimes I don't know what to do anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I should be doing something to help instead of just sitting around. Some job. I want to help people. I want to help my own family out. But I'm only fifteen, I don't qualify for a paying job.

That's why I retreat to my imagination so much. In my imagination, I can have fun. In my imagination, I've created characters that I wish I could be myself. I've created worlds in my head, full of all sorts of crazy things. In my imagination, I can just relax and forget all about the troubles that real life has.

I remember when I was really little, I drew a picture of what I envisioned myself to be as a teenager. I had long pretty hair, I was skinny, wearing a cool outfit and makeup and earrings, and...wow. If my kid self could meet me now, I wonder what kind of questions she would ask me. She would be able to plainly see that I don't have long pretty hair, it's uncontrollable. I can't do anything with it. It gets a lot of tangles. She would be able to see I'm not that skinny. She would be able to see I'm wearing thrift store and hand me down clothing. She would see I'm not wearing makeup. She would see I'm wearing glasses now too. She would probably be very disappointed just looking at me. And that's the thing. My kid self, and the teen I am now, are two different people. It was so easy to dream and believe when I was younger. I always thought that no matter what happened, things would turn out right in the end. I always had such an upbeat attitude when I was a kid. Now...its hard to keep smiling, especially when you see how wrong the world is turning now. You're oblivious to that kind of stuff when you are younger...when you get older, you wake up to a harsh reality. You experience more problems when you are a teenager. You have all kinds of thoughts running through your head, like what if I die, what if someone in my family dies, what if people won't accept me, etc. I get those thoughts all the time, believe me.

Next topic up, I...well...sometimes...feel like killing myself. Sometimes I just wonder what I have left to live for. My family argues about stupid things sometimes, specifically its my sisters getting into cat fights. It drives me crazy. And sometimes when I mess up on a chore, or eat food I wasn't allowed to, I get fussed at like I just committed a horrible crime. Sometimes I just feel so worthless. And then I remember my talents, I remember the good things God has given me. Sure my family fights, but we forgive each other later. And when I mess up, I learn from my mistakes. I'm young. I can sing, I can act, I can write. I have potential. I shouldn't feel so down continually.

Things will get better eventually. Someday my family won't have to be worrying about money, someday we'll be able to get along awesomely, someday I'll go to college, and someday I'll meet my Prince Charming. I just have to trust in the LORD that we'll make it. Maybe I'm just being too dramatic about this.

I apologize if you didn't come here to listen to me vent out my feelings. But I feel a lot better once I get these things out in the open.


~the Authoress

I was awarded!

Awhile back, my good friend Grace at Like A Flower... awarded me and several others a blog award. Only now have I gotten around to posting it!

Here are the rules:

1.State the rules
2.Thank the awarded and link back to them
3.Must pass this award onto five others bloggers
4. .Must notify the awarded bloggers by commenting on their blogs
5.Share seven unusual things about yourself.

Seven Random Facts about me:

1. While outside myself, I act like I'm in a Disney film and just casually burst into song.
2. I've always wished I could just walk into my closet and be in another world.
3. I really love pugs and I really want to own one.
4. Whenever I get nostalgic I go on Youtube and listen to old theme songs of cartoon shows that I used to watch as a little kid, sometimes I even sing along. :)
5. Every story I've started I haven't completed yet.
6. My dream is to be cast in a Broadway production of Beauty and the Beast as Belle. Seriously, I've got nearly every song in that movie memorized. 
7. One t-shirt you can always see me wearing is my Mickey Mouse one.

I award this to:

Sarah at Welcome to Mystery
Nessíma Tavariel at Arda Nessimava
Catlover at Secret Life of a Homeschool Teen

~the Authoress

I haven't posted in forever

MORE APOLOGIES! I'm so sorry, I don't know if anyone has noticed my absence lately, but again, I'm sorry. Life has been a little crammed lately and I haven't found time to post.

Anywho, my baby sister Madelyn was born on May 1st! She's such a little cutie! Of course there have been some problems, her jaundice(idk if I spelled that right) wasn't clearing up so good and plus she was a wee bit underweight. So she was back in the hospital a week or so after being born, and was there for awhile. My mom stayed with her that whole time, so it was up to me and my sisters to keep the house tidy and to cook easy meals. Madelyn is back home now and doing ok, but she still hasn't reached ten pounds yet. That'll be something to pray about.

So due to money problems, I am most likely NOT going to camp this year. Now when my parents told me this, I was very upset. But like I said, it isn't official that I'm not going. The matter is up in the air. Unless of course some money just appears out of thin air.

But despite the camp issue, I'm determined I'm not going to have a dull summer. I've already signed up for a couple of 4-H activities, and I'm looking into getting a volunteer job at the library. There is the possibility we might be meeting up with some friends of ours, it has been a few months since we last saw them, probably in December or something. So I'm planning to be busy.

On a happy note, my birthday is coming up very shortly on the fourth of June! My fifteenth birthday! I'm getting old, lol. I can't believe it, I just can't believe that I'm growing up. Life is sneaking up on me so fast. I may be overreacting just a tad bit, but I can't help. Life was a lot easier before I had all these teenage burdens, but with the burdens come the blessings, so I'm trusting in the LORD to get me through the tough times, because being a Christian teen in these days isn't so easy.

On a down note, I would also like to say that life isn't easy as a fangirl either. I didn't feel all these unwanted emotions before. Let's see...lots of finales happened. The Once Upon a Time season finale left me an emotional wreck, but I am happy my OTP(one true pairing) is soaring again! And that OTP is Rumbelle, my friends. I have to admit, I wasn't actually so keen on that pairing when it started out, but I guess it kinda grew on me and now I ship those two with all my heart. Plus, you gotta admit those actors have fantastic chemistry with each other.

Onto the Doctor Who season finale, it answered my questions about Clara, of course I can't help but say I was a little disappointed at the resolution. I was hoping for something for awesome, but then again, I got about all the awesome I could handle with the episode. But now I'm left with more questions. And now I have to wait until November. Grrr.

Soooooooooooooooooooooo.....

My mom is trying to make me get a birthday list together, but the only that I actually really want are some more Sims 3 expansion packs. But I'm probably only getting one expansion pack as a present, I'm planning on saving my money up and buying an expansion pack myself.

Hmm...and on a last note, I think my sister's cat has gone crazy.

~the Authoress

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Wow! I don't know how long it's been since I've posted! I'm so sorry guys, but life keeps taking my mind off this blog and I've just been trying to focus on school. I'll try updating you on some things that have been happening.

It's springtime now. I've already been through my allergy problems, sore throat, runny nose and all that. Wasn't a very enjoyable time, but at least I'm all better now. You'd think it'd be warm outside right now, well, yesterday it was quite lovely out so I spent time outside. Today the sky is all darkened and it's all wet and yucky around, so don't think I'm gonna go out today.

So...have I read any interesting books lately? Not to say I haven't. I am reading this one book, Dragonspell at the moment, but I'm no where near being done seeing as it has 50 chapters plus an epilogue. I still need to get the second book in the series so I can start that one after I'm done with the first one. I like books that have sequels, that way I'll be able to continue more of an epic story. I hate endings.

Oh yeah! PEOPLE! I have seen The Hobbit! And I've gotta say, I've forgot how much I loved adventures in Middle Earth. That was such an enjoyable film. Yeah some people complain that the CGI effects were choppy and such, but I don't really care. I loved the whole movie! It was casted perfectly and hearing that good old music again sent chills up my spine. I loved the rendition of the Misty Mountains song in the credits. I might want to get the sheet music for that on my guitar.

 I'm outshining my older sister. Why? Because I've already decided what college I'm going to and I'm only fourteen. Yeah. It's the same college my brother is at. I've been up there when me and my dad were bringing him home for spring break. It was neat seeing a campus in action. The hilarious thing that happened is when we were trying to locate my brother, my dad was on the phone trying to find out where he was, and I looked across the street and saw some guy talking on the phone while carrying a suitcase. My first thoughts "Oh he's going home for spring break too?" and then I realized "Oh wait that's my brother!". So yeah, lol. And we had lunch at a Steak and Shake. Very tasty steak burgers. I actually ordered two, but believe me, I instantly regretted it later seeing as my stomach felt like exploding. Ugh.

Anywho, I will be going to The Wilds this year. That's a summer camp up in the Blue Ridge Mountains somewhere. Normally I'd be going to the Anchorage camp, but I've been there two years in a row, so I wanted a change of pace this year. My mom also went to The Wilds when she was a teenager. Yeah, that camp has been there awhile. But they have lots of awesome stuff there! I looked on the website, and wow, they have a zip line, some huge inflatable thing that launches you into the water when someone else jumps on the other end, and lots of other things. The only downside is that I'm going in July, all by myself. My younger sister is going a discounted week in June, and my older sister is going a discounted week in August. So I'm a little nervous. But excited.

Let's see...what else is happening...oh yes. I'll be going to a friend's wedding on Saturday, and my mom's baby shower is next week.

~the Authoress